Planets

🎯 Purpose

To help leaders identify the needs, feelings, and observable actions underlying their behaviour, drawing on Non-Violent Communication (NVC) by Dr Marshall Rosenberg, in a context of team development or leadership training.

💥 Emotional Impact

Participants feel:

• Seen and recognised at a deeper human level
• More compassionate toward themselves and others
• Connected to colleagues through shared vulnerability
• Safe and open to exploring needs without judgement
• Empowered to express what truly matters

🎯 Outcomes

Participants walk away with:

• A clear map of their core needs, emotional patterns, and behavioural signs
• The ability to distinguish needs, feelings, and actions (NVC skill)
• A practical shared language for understanding themselves and others
• Greater awareness of what helps them stay in their “upper half” at work
• A deeper understanding of colleagues’ inner drivers and stress responses
• Tools to communicate needs with clarity and responsibility
• A concrete practice they can replicate with their teams to build trust and empathy

Facilitator says:

“Human beings behave in specific ways because of needs that matter deeply to them.

When needs are met, we expand. When they are not met, we contract or protect.

Understanding what drives each other’s behaviours in a team helps us close the gap and build more human connections with one another rather than transactional relationships.

Today’s metaphor — your planet — helps you map:

• the needs at your core,
• the feelings that emerge when these needs are met or unmet,
• and the actions you take on the surface.

This distinction is taken from Non-Violent Communication (NVC) by Marshall Rosenberg, a framework that teaches us to separate:

• Needs
• Feelings
• Behaviours (actions)

🌍 The Planet Model

Show the flipchart template or slide.

Three layers:

CORE — Essential Needs (3–5 items)

Use the NVC Needs List provided.

These are universal human needs, not strategies.

Examples: autonomy, creativity, meaning, closeness, understanding, clarity, reliability, fun.

MANTLE — Feelings (Met / Unmet)

These are emotional indicators that needs are met or unmet.

Use the NVC Feelings List.

• When needs are met: joyful, energised, curious, open, peaceful
• When needs are unmet: frustrated, sad, tense, anxious, resentful

IMPORTANT: ask participants to stick to the list so they don’t introduce blame or pseudo-emotions such as “betrayed”, etc.

SURFACE — Behaviours (Actions Only — Verbs)

This is what others can see.

Represent behaviours through small drawings or through English action phrases beginning with “I…”.

Examples:

When needs are met:

• I initiate new projects
• I talk openly with colleagues
• I organise celebrations
• I brainstorm with energy
• I reach out to support others
• I go to the forest to ground myself

When needs are unmet:

• I isolate myself in front of the computer
• I avoid meetings
• I speak quickly and interrupt
• I withdraw from conversations
• I send short, clipped messages

❗Critical instruction:

If a camera cannot film it, it’s not a behaviour.

(Say this aloud.)

2. 🎤 Demo of Facilitators’ Planet (6 minutes: 3 minutes each, including feedback)

Facilitator 1 introduces their planet in the following sequence:

• Needs
• Feelings when needs are met
• Behaviours when needs are met
• Feelings when needs are met
• Behaviours when needs are met

Facilitator 2 takes mental notes and listens.

Keep the demo:

• Short, to the point
• Honest
• Modelling the distinction between internal (feelings) and external (actions).

Once facilitator 1 has presented, have facilitator 2 ask the question they will use during the breakout group presentations.

• Facilitator 2 appreciates what they see in them and reflects to comment on the impact, “That part here sounds liberating. That part there sounds difficult.” Have facilitator 1 respond.
• Facilitator 2 asks; What would you need to flip from the lower to the upper side? What is your responsibility in this? Have facilitator 1 respond.

Swap!

3. ✏️ Creating My Planet (12 minutes)

Each participant takes a flipchart (in-room) or a piece of paper/slide (online)

What participants draw: (See example attached)

• Three circles (core → needs, mantle → feelings, surface → behaviours as actions)
• A line that separates Feelings and Behaviours “met” versus “unmet”: don’t draw the line within the core (needs) because they remain the same in both cases.

Participants must:

1. Choose 3–5 needs from the NVC Needs List (handout).
2. Write them in the core.
3. Add feelings (met / unmet) in the mantle.
4. On the surface: write or draw actions, not adjectives.
5. Use drawings or plain English (“I isolate”, “I celebrate”, “I propose ideas”).
6. Avoid mixing categories — feelings stay inside, behaviours stay outside.

🔍 Facilitator vigilance:

Walk around and say (gently and assertively):

• “What do you do when you feel like this?”
  
• “Where would this fit: core need, inner feeling, or outer action?”
• “What’s the universal need underneath your sentence?”
• “Don’t write more than 3 max. 5 needs, feelings and behaviours! Focus on what matters most.”

4. 🤝 Sharing in Breakout Groups (30 minutes)

💡 Tip: Ask people to group themselves based on how well they know each other—for example, if they're already acquainted, have them form a group together. This setup encourages more thorough explanations and helps dispel assumptions about each person's behavioural patterns in intact teams and projects.

Instructions in groups of 3 (10 minutes each)

• Share your planet: 2 minutes
• Invite curiosity, not judgement
• Others appreciate what they see in them and reflect to comment on the impact, “That sounds liberating. That sounds difficult.” 5 minutes
• Listeners ask; What would you need to flip from the lower to the upper side? What is your responsibility in this? 3 minutes
• Next person
• Make sure you have a timekeeper who keeps track of time and ensures everyone has an equal share.

Leaders roam to support! → Ask for permission!

Specific facilitator cue: “If someone describes a feeling on the surface, ask:

‘What do you do when you feel that?’ What do people see of you?”

5. 💬 Plenary Debrief (15 minutes)

Use appreciative inquiry and both horizontal and vertical debrief techniques. Leverage similarities and differences in participants’ needs, feelings, and behaviours—this is key to building bridges.

Facilitators ask:

• How does it feel to discover people in this way?
• What have you learned from this experience?
• NOW WHAT: How do you want to apply this in the future? How could your team benefit from your experience in this exercise? → Homework to do this with their teams

Learning points include:

• Behaviours are not feelings.
• Needs shape feelings; feelings shape actions.
• We often assume, based on people's behaviours, that their needs and feelings are a certain way; however, this is far from the truth. The same need can produce completely different feelings and behaviours. Furthermore, what we observe on the surface may originate from entirely different underlying needs.
• Teams benefit when we share our needs rather than judge others’ actions.
• NVC improves clarity, empathy, and responsibility.

💡 Tip: Facilitators may conclude this segment by mentioning that some teams keep their "planets" in a shared folder accessible only to team members. This allows them to revisit these documents during times of tension and better understand what’s happening with their counterparts, rather than making assumptions.

6. 📖 Journaling (3 minutes)

• How does it feel to discover people in this way?
• What is your learning?
• NOW WHAT: How do you want to apply this in the future? How could your team benefit from your experience in this exercise? → Homework to do this with their teams

Appendix: NVC Needs & Feelings Lists

(Adapted from Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication model)

These lists are universal categories and are open-use.

NVC Universal Needs List

(Choose 3–5 for your Planet)

Autonomy:

• Choice
• Freedom
• Independence
• Space
• Self-expression

Meaning / Purpose:

• Contribution
• Understanding
• Growth
• Learning
• Clarity

Connection:

• Belonging
• Acceptance
• Appreciation
• Warmth
• Intimacy

Wellbeing:

• Rest
• Safety
• Support
• Ease
• Peace

Creativity:

• Play
• Innovation
• Imagination
• Inspiration

Order / Structure:

• Stability
• Predictability
• Reliability
• Consistency

Integrity:

• Authenticity
• Honesty
• Alignment
• Congruence

Playfulness:

• Fun
• Lightness
• Joy

NVC Feelings List (Met / Unmet)

When Needs Are Met (Feelings of Fulfilment):

• Calm
• Open
• Confident
• Joyful
• Energised
• Curious
• Connected
• Inspired
• Grateful
• Hopeful

When Needs Are Unmet (Feelings of Distress):

• Sad
• Lonely
• Overwhelmed
• Anxious
• Irritated
• Angry
• Guilty
• Tense
• Discouraged
• Resentful