Erica Marx Erica Marx Coaching

Rant

by for . Last edit was 9 months ago
any any

One person rants for 60 seconds. The second person translates their rant into what they care about and value.

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Additional info

Goal

conflict = someone cares
gain skill of translating upset of self and others into core values
learn a superpower listening technique 

Attachments

You will be able to upload attachments once after you create the method.

Materials

  • slide or poster that says You care about.... You value ...

Instructions

1. Form pairs. 
2. Player A rants for 60 seconds on pet peeve (true rant)
3. Player B is instructed to listen for:
- what they care about
- what they value
- what's important to them
4. Player B translates their rant into what they care about and value using the sentence starters such as 'you care about... you value ... ' and not including any of the negative rant. Player B checks in with Player A to make sure they got it. Player A can add a bit.
5. Switch roles
6. Debrief


As introduction 

I have used it for introductions. After both people rant & are listened to with this intention (but not reflected back while in pairs), they are introduced by their partner to the group "This is ___ and she cares about ____" I tell them to listen for what this person cares about and what's important to them. So sometimes they choose that sentence stem. "This is ___ and __ is important to her." It's lovely to see people receive the reflection in the circle, stated as simple truth. And the rest of the group often says 'awwwww' to each one. <3

The debrief is fantastic for finding both a new way to listen, and at least for one person in my last workshop a new way to express yourself! ("it gets me thinking... maybe I could skip the rant and just do that part instead...")


Teaching Notes
Demo all of this before doing it. Highlight that only the positive was said. No negative 'evidence' for what matters to the person. Everyone has positive intentions.

How can you use this when you're listening to others?
When you're expressing yourself?
Think about your complaints ... what do you care about?


Applications
* any application for conflict, seeing the perspective of another. People get upset when they feel something they care about is being threatened. What do they care about? What are you trying to protect? 

* active listening on steroids (go straight to values). Ability to deescalate another person.


* Can be used for introductions. After both people rant & are listened to with this intention (but not reflected back while in pairs), they are introduced by their partner to the group "This is ___ and she cares about ____" I tell them to listen for what this person cares about and what's important to them. So sometimes they choose that sentence stem. "This is ___ and __ is important to her." It's lovely to see people receive the reflection in the circle, stated as simple truth. And the rest of the group often says 'awwwww' to each one. <3

The debrief is fantastic for finding both a new way to listen, and at least for one person in my last workshop a new way to express yourself! ("it gets me thinking... maybe I could skip the rant and just do that part instead...")


Variations

Team rant
In a team or workplace setting... what are the complaints? Have people rant about the complaints on the team. What does this show you that your team values? This can be done as an activity.

--

Reflection of listener broken into what is said vs. what is communicated
1. "Here's what I heard you say/talk about"
2. "Here's what I hear you care about"

Background

Source of this activity: Translated Rants was originally taught to me at an Applied Improvisation Network conference. AIN is a professional network of facilitators and coaches that freely share activities with each other.   http://appliedimprovisation.network/

About me: I am the owner of Erica Marx Coaching, a team coaching company based in Ithaca, NY. We take a relationship systems approach to creating cultures of collaboration in organizations. We offer retreats, workshops, trainings, keynotes, executive & team coaching, and longer-term engagements with organizations.

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