Questions to Open Up

Transition from reflection and break time by asking 1-2 Would you Rather Questions.  

As participants share, note (BUT DO NOT SHARE YET) responses that go deeper than the question; seek themes that may be surprising.

Example WYR Questions:

Would you rather...

• ...eat broccoli or carrots for the rest of your life?
• ...spend the rest of your life on an island alone or with a person you dislike immensely?
• ...be able to control fire or water?
• ...lose all of your memories from birth to now or lose your ability to make new long-term memories?
• ...be infamous in history books or be forgotten after your death?
• ...get one free round trip international plane ticket every year or be able to fly domestic anytime for free?

Transition into Questions to Open activity by noting that those themes and responses that went deeper by naming that we learned a lot about specific individuals that we might not have asked in the question. 

Key Points: 

• The active listener may pick up on more than what was asked - Share what was heard within the responses to “would you rather” that wasn’t directly asked
• In all relationships when we converse there are direct and indirect responses to questions
• There is a power dynamic at play between colleagues and some questions may feel weighty. Like a relatively innocent “hi there, what are you working on?” - from a tenured staff member wishing to get to know a colleague may elicit feelings of being judged
• Questions like “would you rather” - don’t have right or wrong responses and may be a good place to start to establish connection & trust before going deeper

Introduce the exercise.

Instruct participants: 

1. Use questions on handout in their packets to drive conversation
2. Choose 1 question from each Step (1, 2, 3)
3. Go through questions in order by Step1 person shares, 1 person listens - repeat for each step
4. About 4-5 minutes per question per pair
5. If a person says they don’t want to answer a question then move on - no questions asked
6. Both participants don’t need to answer the same questions
7. In order to select pairs, ask participants to look around the room and find one person who is across a line of difference (race, gender, age, work team, etc) - make eye contact with that person and then pair off to a place of comfort and relative privacy.

After Exercise

Wrap by asking how it felt for participants to be fully heard; to go deeper in their relationships with others on the team?

Key Closing Points:

• Power dynamics are present in questions that we ask
• Starting w/ questions without correct answers we reduce the impact of those power dynamics
• When we use Active Listening tactics we hear more of what people share
• This exercise isn't magic - participants can use the exercise with a colleague any time they wish